Sunday, November 4, 2007

Why I Hate Halloween

Twenty pounds of candy
(537 pieces, to be exact) collected by one very proud child

Intense scarfing

Sugar-induced mood swings

Ownership and sharing issues

Mom starts to eat more than she cares to admit, since no one will notice

Breakfast, lunch, snacks and dinner require candy desserts

ENOUGH!!!!!!!! It must go!!!!!!

Five people, one-and-a-half hour intensive negotiation session over dinner

Final settlement: four-piece allotment on weekend days, two-piece allotment on weekdays, for ten days

Overachieving candy collector gets bonus of ten pieces

Remaining candy to be donated to charity of collector's choice: construction workers who can burn it off without getting fat

Getting all that candy out of the house: priceless!

Having nine year old actually thank me for letting him keep some of the candy: even more priceless!!

1 comment:

chigiy at Gardeners Anonymous said...

Wait! I thought you threw it away.
I used this fact to get my kids down to ten pieces each and donate the rest to a Russian Orphanage.
Was I duped?
Were they?
Oh what the hell, it's gone and they didn't eat it.